| 6/29/2004 03:34:00 PM |
[ please rewind before returning ]
i waltzed back from the airport today. the fields swam when i whispered 'gotama.' and bowed when i screamed it. the sun baked my sleepy skin and cooked the chocolate out of my brain. so much further to go before i'm home. so many beeootiful clouds to draw and be drawn into.
the flight was pretty mellow. i made faces at a screaming child, and he thanked me when i jumped out of the plane. i gotta order hot chocolate more often when i'm flying. it's soo goood. and i gotta start leaving more random notes for people, especially for people who look sorta sad. i fell asleep before i could find my pen this time, but generally it'd be something like this:Dear Lori, Flying Stewardess Extraordinare,
Thank you for the delicious hot chocolate. While drinking it, I'm almost positive I became enlightened. It could just be the sugar affecting my brain, but if I truly have reached a state of holy goodness, I owe it all to you.
Thank you for being such a beautiful, kind, intelligent person,
and never forget that in the face of great suffering you can do anything,
an Anonymous Celebrity and Hot Chocolate Afficionado but yeah, the sledds are really kind. they took me to some gigantic fireworks last night... where i ate a pound of pound cake (at least). it's sorta strange how cynical they are though, and not knowing them so well i couldn't do my job of killing the cynicism. even with alan sometimes, i forget my job and just let him keep saying things that lead to dead-ends. it's a strange contrast. trusting the whole world might not get you out of the jungle, but it'll sure as hell getcha swinging in the trees instead of sulking on the ground.
sunday day we walked from alan's house over the puget sound, skipped some rocks, saved some starfish. then we play some frizzbee-soccer in the park across from his house. got back, chilled a bit, then headed downtown for the big show.
alan took me all over town, though. on saturday we went to a beach in west seattle where ana, his belle, lives. a bald eagle came and landed about 100ft away. it was pretty amazing. then we headed over to the city and went to pike's place, this awesome market. where they have fresh... everything. and it took much restraint to prevent me from buying several hundred mangoes from the ancient fruit loop... i mean, seller. then we just chilled for a bit, went back to al-samas casa for bbq, then went to play computer games for far too long with some of al's homies.
friday! i wanted to ask camus what he thought about buddhism, where it seems like people find "faith" in the absurdity of life itself. i couldn't find him (i guess he left fordajuly), but i'm pretty sure his way of living is all about putting a slight twist on buddha. just saying: do not hope or desire nirvana, there's nirvana in every moment, but you can only find it if you stop looking for it. |
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| 6/27/2004 03:30:00 PM |
[ jam-achin' ]
you know it's sunday when you're dancing around eating left-over jambalaya and listening to the sounds of sprinklers and funky kingston in sunlit windy-ness.
the hills here are soo amazing. i tried to run to airport this morning to lie down by the runway and watch the planes take-off (it's... uh... too far), but it's really quiet and there are these wheat waves. the hills look like green dunes. and sneezing/laughing at the corner of 'no' and 'where' is great fun... even if it's not quite flying. |
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| 6/27/2004 12:20:00 AM |
[ so many strange invitations ]
dear lord. without thinking, i just used my lab key to try to get into my room. please let this never ever happen again... at least until i'm in grad school. |
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| 6/21/2004 10:53:00 PM |
[ famous? ... only with god ]
i had a dream last night. that i failed 9th grade biology... repeatedly. everytime it got harder and harder. by the end i was scribbling calculus with a crayon on white bedsheets, and drawing rocketships around physically hot pictures of the sun. the questions were really cool though. i could actually make out the words. but it was more like i drank them. i saw the words and understood the question, without actually reading anything... i think. maybe i never actually got the question, but just made something up. nonetheless, my grey-haired teach was never quite happy with my handiwork. she kept saying, "ian, it's simpler than it seems." but i'd just stick out my tounge a little more and integrate in sea-green smudges... like always. :)
oh yeah, i guess i'll goo to seattle for the fourthajuli. alan has invited me most forcefully, and i do want to see it. maybe tell him that too... unless other ideas bloom. |
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| 6/19/2004 07:54:00 PM |
[ some things you can't explain away ]
yayadventure! we just got back from a fairly loopy road-trip. talking to thick-fingered geologists and kooky kids. and more waterfalls! oy. i learned somethings. it feels like my brain is rubbed raw though. it's one seriously peeled tangerine. |
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| 6/15/2004 10:32:00 PM |
[ whalebones ]
today... i lay in the sun and drank the sky for just the right amount of time.
today... i melted into the mouth of a warm orange creamsicle.
today... i saw things that no one else ever will.
today... i danced up a sandstorm in the desert night
...and amid the moonlit dunes, i out-screamed a thousand mirages. |
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| 6/13/2004 12:16:00 PM |
[ sweltering squalor and the lunatic scholar ]
it feels... like we're passengers. i just want, more than anything, to look over her shoulder. to feel her gaze wash over my down-cast eyes. anything. more than this. more than the strained cacophony of my voice trying to express six million seconds and years of emotion in every word. why do i sound so useless, when in my mind's eye i'm kissing her tears and troubles to dust and waves (the only solution i know)? how can you communicate ineffable compassion without the heart-beats? when your breath doesn't reach the other person, but stops short and gives only static? hrm... this is one sticky-slippery dilemma. i'll have to start singing over the phone, i guess... or else grab the wheel why you distract the driver with a dizzy rendition of "i'm a little teapot." *turns head around and buries beak in feathers* |
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| 6/11/2004 09:42:00 PM |
[ probably rhetorical ]
the televisionary oracle is rocking my socks off!
but i know it's not for everyone, so read only if you dare. hehe, "tipping sacred cows." |
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| 6/09/2004 09:01:00 PM |
[ no need to worry, no need to hurry ]
hehe! you know how they say "not all who wander are lost." that applies to minds too, methinks. everytime i think of tom robbins i get this feeling like, "oi, that's the right path. that crazy foo' knows exactly what he's talking about." everytime i see anything even remotely like those whooshing words, just things that don't fit into any of my usual cubby-holes, i have these realizations. that craziness, to be truly unpredictable, but close to truth, close to love and the beeootiful, is all ya need.
... and that's why i bought some tofu and mushrooms.
... and ... what's the difference between firm and soft tofu? other than their discipline. |
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| 6/08/2004 05:27:00 PM |
[ up above the chimney tops ]
aiya! udaho is most wondrous. the bus ride from spokane (pronouncified spoke-anne) to moscow (pronunciated moss-coe) was coool beyond belief. there are just miles and miles of these green grassy hills, punctuated by fields of flowers and the occasional llama farm. i want to fly these skies! and i'm pretty sure i'll be able to see the milky way if i walk outside tonight. 8b.
and the lab is... weird. my project is coming in 5-7 business days so i'm sorta just hanging around, poking the grad students about their insane experiments. the post-doc (who pretty much runs things) is cool-friendly though, i have to try speaking chinese at him tomorrow. anything... to keep... the pressure low and the temperature high.
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| 6/02/2004 02:00:00 AM |
[ que quieres en la vida ]
wanderlust. is a strange and yummy thing.
and sartre is amazing! he's got more rub than some sort of insanely marinated cajun bbq. the more i read, the more convinced i am that this guy is very different. i'm still working it out, but it just seems like he actually understands things. and it's all very impressive, in that distressingly hamlet-esque sorta way. i feel so... electric. he says:
Everything has been figured out, except how to live. |
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